Photo Friday - Dec 30 - Best of 2005

Drive By #2 - Belize City, Belize

Well, I didn't think it was thaaaat funny.

Its nice to know that someone else has a more viscious and sarcastic sense of humour than moi. (Middle Child Syndrome)

Postcards from Paradise

Each year for Christmas I like to send out an "Eat Your Heart out" photo to my parents. Healthy, tanned, smiling. Middle Child Syndrome took my photo this year and amazingly came up with about 8 really nice shots, of which I won't share with you... because I think you'll enjoy the out-takes better. I swear I wasn't trying to act like a 3 year old with ADD.

Just Remember Fugly is the New Pretty.

This one is titled "Thuthe thellth thee thells by the thee thore. Say that three times fast"

This one is titled "Bra Strap? What Bra Strap?"

This photo is titled "Rats in Your Pizza Stink"

This one is titled "Can You make My Nose Look Bigger?" or "Shouldn't You See a Dermatologist About Those Giant Pores?"

This one is titled "Lalalalala I Just Won The Lotto"
This one is titled "Kiss Kiss in LaLa Land" What exactly was I doing here? I think Milld Child Syndrome told me to flip my hair like a supermodel.
This one is titled "Stop Making My Arms Look So Fat - Remember My Instructions - Thinner and Younger Only"
This one is titled "I Hate You, You Ruined My Life, I'm Going To Get You Back For That" O.K. since you've been patient I'll show you the Christmas 2005 Eat Your Heart Out Photo. Its a little bit crazy, little bit happy.

Happy and Merry

I heisted this off of Natalie Dee's website.

What will I remember the most about today? No, it won't be the list of food my mother ate today, that she will inevitably email me later on, that will go something like this: This morning your Dad and I had decaf and cinnamon buns that I got at the thrift store 3 packages for $1, then we went over to your Aunt Margies for lunch after church and your cousin Yvonne brought her usual cheesy potatoes, I brought my bread pudding. No, your brother M didn't make it again this year. Your Aunts Tina and Dickie asked about your missionary work (she keeps forgetting its missionary position, not missionary work). Cousin Doug didn't bother to make anything, he brought store bought rolls. Your Aunt Tina is dating again. Your youngest daughter forgot to bring her fruits for her part of the fruit salad, luckily I had some frozen berries in the trunk of the car just in case. Your Dad had to take an extra sugarpill (insulin) and I thought he was going to go into a coma... Tonight I'm making meatless chili and serving it with fat free cheese, and all the grandkids are coming over to play board games. I made a diet apple cobbler with fat free margarine for desert. I tried a new cheese-less macaroni and cheese recipe, but no one liked it.
O.K. enough making fun of my mother on Christmas.
What I will remember this Christmas day is the biggest set of big-toenails that I've ever seen on a normal size foot. I first met The Toe on the water taxi between Belize City and Caye Caulker. It was sitting right next to me and French. My big toe nail is about the size of a nickel, at most, maybe between a penny and a nickel. This guy had a normal size 9 man's foot but his big toenails and accompanying big toes were the size of a silver dollar. I had a hard time not staring. I almost pulled my little ruler out of my bag to measure them. And, did I mention the Frenchness? I wonder if that's a symbol of sexyness in France? It reminded me of the movie with Uma Thurman where she played the girl with the giant thumbs. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues(?)

This is also the first year since moving to Belize that I'm baking a turkey. Even though Middle Child and I are working today, it still feels like Christmas. Whoever said you have to spend a ton of money on Christmas? Baby girl loved her plastic tea set from China, plastic jelly sandles, plastic ring floaty and plastic backpack all bought at the China store down the street.

So, everybody, tell me what you remember the most about today. Have you ever seen something really really weird on someone and thought... "I wonder if they know how weird that looks?"
Don't get discouraged if I don't holla right back, its high season right now and I'm working day and night.

Letter From Santa

Dear Baby Girl,
Your Grandma is so smart! When you wouldn't take a shower the other night, after you covered yourself in dirt and sand, and she put you in the cooler with bubble water (and then took your picture) I decided to reward her this year for Christmas. Don't tell her, but I'm bringing a new 1 speed beach cruiser bike with big booty seat, basket and rust resistant chain. If she gets real lucky it will be pink with a barbie horn.
As for you, we'll stick with platic toys made in China this year.
Grandpa Bigness doesn't get a new bike this year. He was a very very bad boy and already lost 2 of them BWI (Bicycling While Intoxicated). Grandpa's getting a new paintbrush and hammer.

Love,
Santa